“Words like ‘corny’ and ‘cringe’ never occurred to Elvis Presley, a man incapable of irony. That’s why he was The King. Baz Luhrmann understands this, bless his rhinestone-encrusted heart. The gaudy Australian maximalist has spent the past few years trying to find bigger and louder ways to convey the Earth-shaking awesomeness of the Elvis experience.” – Spliced Personality Substack, 02/21/2026

“Some actors vamp better than others. Margaret Qualley happens to be great at it, sashaying through the picture as a one-note femme fatale. She’s laying it on too thick, but you’re happy to see someone doing something. The only time Ford’s camera comes to life is when he’s trying to fit her seemingly endless legs into the widescreen frame.” – Spliced Personality Substack, 02/19/2026

“The film takes place in a nebulous emotional space after an amicable divorce, when a family is still figuring out how they’re going to move forward. Anna works with tapestries upon which she presses pieces of iron, making patterns out of the impressions they leave behind. That’s sort of what the movie is about: the faded residue of a relationship that’s over.” – Spliced Personality Substack, 02/18/2026

“You don’t get the sense that anything is being prioritized in a Gore Verbinski film, there’s just stuff everywhere. I wasn’t surprised to learn this script was originally written as anthology film, then retrofitted into a feature. None of the flashbacks pay off. It’s like binge-watching a whole season of Black Mirror in the middle of a movie.” – Spliced Personality Substack, 02/15/2026

“A collection of warmed over cops-and-robbers cliches that were already pretty hoary when Michael Mann threaded them together three decades ago in Heat, absent the doomy grandeur that elevates Mann’s routine policer material into poetry. Plodding and workmanlike, Crime 101 is as prosaic a picture as I’ve seen in ages.” – Spliced Personality Substack, 02/12/2026

“Maybe the best way to describe Fennell’s Wuthering Heights is that it feels like a movie made by a 14-year-old. I mean this as a compliment. This is a dreamy and occasionally foolish film made with the heedless ardor of first love, a movie of frightening, sticky desires and irrational anger. It’s also the kind of thing that makes literary purists want to pull their hair out.” – WBUR’s Arts & Culture, 02/11/2026

“I’ll cop to giggling in appreciation more than once at the threadbare exuberance of Luc Besson’s often risible craptacular, which has been thrown together with no particular interest in Bram Stoker’s oft-told story, but a mad love of making images. Especially silly ones. It’s Besson’s attempt to do cinema du look on a discount budget. Let’s just say the seams show.” – Spliced Personality Substack, 02/08/2026

“The thing about pop crazes is that they’re ephemeral. But the entertainment industry is designed to drag them out until there’s no more money or audience goodwill left to be plundered. The Moment is aptly titled because such things are fleeting, and we’re watching an artist try to figure out in real time how much of herself should be for sale.” – Spliced Personality Substack, 02/06/2026

“The protagonist is played by first-time actor Ubeimar Rios. He’s a fascinating physical specimen who appears to have been put together out of mismatched parts, with arms too short for his body and a mouth too big for his face. Yet however awkward and off-putting, Rios imbues him with a shabby nobility. We believe that Oscar wasn’t always like this.” – Spliced Personality Substack, 02/06/2026

“An unstructured montage of the First Lady’s entrances and exits, it’s endless scenes of a woman with no discernible personality walking in and out of rooms, occasionally accompanied by a voice-over of empty, ChatGPT-sounding banalities delivered in an affectless monotone. Melania shouldn’t even be called a documentary. It’s just footage.” – North Shore Movies, 01/31/2026