“I don’t know if you’ve been keeping up with Steven Seagal lately, but it’s fun checking in every now and again in that mean way that the Germans have a word for, because the dude got really fat. Like, he’s getting Brando heavy. Filmmakers go to great lengths to not make him move around much. This is kind of a problem when you’re an action star.” – Movie Mezzanine, 05/14/2015

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